Now I know what you are thinking, yes, I am a shoe-wearer. But that is just because I have a very small closet and one pair of shoes. I have an entire wardrobe of shoes and I can’t even count the number of pairs I have from when I was a kid. I have never worn any of them; they are just “in my closet.

Of course, you’re wrong. I wear shoes like you, but I also wear them a lot more than you wear any shoes. I have a closet full of shoes and I cannot wear them all, and I can’t remember the last time I wore shoes that I wasn’t wearing them. I’m a total shopper.